Questions to ask on a first date

Good questions to ask on a first date are easy, open ones that get someone talking about things they enjoy: how they spend a free weekend, a place they love, something they are looking forward to. Start light, follow what they say, and save big topics for later.

Below are 24 easy questions in three groups, a short list of things to settle before you meet, what to avoid, and a simple way to keep the conversation going. You do not need all of them. Pick three or four, keep them as a back-up for quiet moments, and listen for a detail you can follow up on.

Easy openers for the first five minutes

The first few minutes are the hardest. These questions are small, friendly and hard to get wrong.

• "What has been the nicest part of your week so far?" It is easy to answer and starts things on a happy note.
• "Have you been to this place before?" The room you are both sitting in is the quickest thing to talk about.
• "What is a food you could eat every week?" Food opens up stories about home, family and favourite places.
• "What do you usually do on a free Sunday?" It shows what someone enjoys when nothing is planned.
• "Is there a small thing that made you smile recently?" It lets your date pick a story they want to tell.
• "How did you get here today?" A light, practical start that often leads to a story about the city.
• "What is the nicest thing you have eaten lately?" Almost everyone has an answer, and it often leads to a recommendation.
• "Is there a show or a song you have on repeat at the moment?" An easy way to find something you both like.

Fun questions that get you laughing

Once you are both relaxed, a little humour makes the conversation feel natural.

• "What is a skill you would love to learn in a weekend?" The answers are usually playful and a little surprising.
• "What is a food opinion you will defend?" A friendly debate is a good sign.
• "If you could take a trip tomorrow, where would you go?" Easy to picture, and it shows what someone is curious about.
• "What is a film you can rewatch again and again?" Comfort picks say a lot about a person.
• "What would your perfect lazy day look like?" It is a gentle way to learn how someone relaxes.
• "What is something you are oddly good at?" It invites a small brag and a good story.
• "Which would you choose: a long road trip or a quick flight?" A this-or-that question is easy to answer and easy to build on.
• "What was your favourite thing to do as a kid?" It brings out warm memories without getting heavy.

Questions that go a little deeper

Go deeper only when the conversation is already easy. If your date seems unsure, return to something lighter.

• "What does a good week look like for you?" It shows what matters to someone day to day.
• "What are you working towards at the moment?" It opens up plans and hopes, in whatever size they want to share.
• "What do you like most about where you live?" People often light up when they talk about their neighbourhood.
• "Who do you call first with good news?" A gentle way to hear about the people in their life.
• "What is something you have changed your mind about?" It shows how someone thinks and what they have learned.
• "What do you do to switch off after a hard day?" It helps you see how someone looks after themselves.
• "What is a small thing you really value in a friend?" It says a lot about what they will bring to a relationship.
• "What are you looking forward to this month?" It ends on something to anticipate, which is a good way to close a deeper chat.

Questions to settle before you meet

Some of the most useful questions come before the date, while you are still chatting. They make the meeting easy and take the guesswork out of it.

• Which public place suits us both, such as a café or a restaurant?
• Which day and time work for each of us?
• How long should we plan to stay?
• How will each of us get there and get home?
• Is there anything you would rather avoid, such as a loud room or a long dinner?
• What is a good backup place if plans change?

If you are still working out how to move from chat to a plan, our guide on how to turn a match into a date walks you through it.

Which questions suit which kind of first date

The setting changes what feels natural. At a café, the openers and the fun questions suit it, because the meeting is short and relaxed. Over a dinner, you have time to move into the deeper group, as long as the mood is easy. On a walk, shorter questions work well, since you are moving and the pauses feel less awkward. Whatever you pick, a public place, a clear start time and a rough end time keep the pressure low for both of you.

What to avoid asking on a first date

A first date is a conversation, not an interview. A few things can wait for later.

• Detailed questions about an ex. A short, honest answer is fine. A long story is better saved for when you know each other.
• Income or money. These feel personal when you have only just met.
• Anything that pushes for personal details. Home address, workplace details and similar details can wait.
• Questions that feel like a test. Ask because you are curious, not to rate the answer.

If your date skips a question, move on kindly and ask about something they enjoy.

How to keep the conversation going

1. Ask. Choose one question and let it breathe.
2. Listen. Notice the part of the answer your date seems most excited about.
3. Follow up on one detail. "Tell me more about that" is often the question that does the most work all night.
4. Share your own answer. Trade answers so it feels like a conversation, not an interview.

If you want ideas for where to go, start with our first date ideas, a coffee date or a night out, and read our first date tips. For the practical side, see our first date safety page.

Turn the chat into a plan

Duout is the app designed to make you (actually) go on a date. On Duout, a match is called a Duo, and the planned meetup is a Duout: a public café or restaurant, a day and a time. Both people must accept a Duout before it is on, so nobody is left guessing. Duout is free.

Every profile on Duout is verified with a selfie check. That check is not a promise about how a date will go, so keep your usual habits: meet somewhere busy, tell a friend and get home your own way.

Looking for a place? Date places by city: Bangalore, Mumbai, Delhi and Hyderabad. You can also read more about Duout or join the waitlist on the Duout home page.